No. 535 - I'M 39 AND HOLDING

No. 535



The other day I ran across one of the most comforting thoughts I have seen or heard in a long time. Here it is. If you laugh a lot, when you get older, your wrinkles will be in the right places!
While I don't know about you, every once in a while I need to stop what I am doing and take a laugh break. It's been proven that laughter relieves stress and I feel sure you know that stress can do all kinds of things to your body, and most of them are not good.
The other day a friend sent me a number of humorous stories and I would like to share them with you. To me, they are just great, but you may not think they are funny at all. Every once in a while my wife Viola says, "You have a weird sense of humor." I never have figured out exactly what she means when she says that.
Along these lines, it might also be good to remind you of a couple important points when it comes to humor, especially when it comes at someone else's expense. To me, a story is never funny if it ridicules other human beings and causes them to feel pain, shame or is demeaning in any way. It's also good to understand that some people can take kidding, while others can't, so we should always be sensitive when we are kidding or telling humorous stories. While it should go without saying, we should never tell jokes or stories that are vulgar, crude or off color. I used to tell an off color story once in a while, but learned better, as any of us can.
With that said, here are those stories that may give you a chuckle or two, as they did me. The first one has to do with Grandma's age, which can sometimes be a very sensitive subject. Little Johnny asked his grandmother how old she was. Grandma answered, "I'm 39 and holding." Johnny thought for a moment and then said, "How old would you be if you let go?" If you attend church, from time to time your minister may do something that is called a children's sermon." One Easter Sunday morning as the preacher was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?" "I know!" a little boy exclaimed, "Pantyhose!"
Have you ever heard the story about the mood ring? The wife is speaking, "my husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I am in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead." And here is one of my favorites about life after death. "Do you believe in life after death?" The boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir." The new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."
If you have ever been around someone that rubbed you the wrong way and made you want to climb the walls, you will enjoy this. "Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked. "I heard him tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit," the little boy answered. If you have a tender heart and love children, you will appreciate this one. A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plate. When they came near his pew, the boy said rather loudly, "Don't pay for me daddy, I'm under five."
In these days when more and more grown children are leaving home only to move back, here is one that is very timely. The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
Laughter is good medicine. Hope you have enjoyed our laugh break today.
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim Davidson is a motivational speaker and syndicated columnist. You may contact him at 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, AR 72034. To support literacy, buy his book "Learning, Earning & Giving Back.")