No 605



When it comes to people, the Irish poet and novelist, Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) had this to say about us: “There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating — people who know absolutely everything and people who know absolutely nothing.”
We have a terrific fellow in our Lions Club by the name of Milton Davis. I don’t know where old Oscar would rank Milton, but he is absolutely fascinating. In fact, when I get through telling you about him, I believe you will agree that every club and every organization needs at least one Milton Davis. Milton is one of several stockbrokers in our community who represent Edward Jones Investments.
He and his wife Claudia would be considered “Pillars” of our community, as they have both served on countless boards and committees and are very active in their church. They also put their money where their mouth is. Enough said here. Milton also produces a caricature cartoon each week for our local newspaper and it has been picked up by about 20 other newspapers. The location of his office has come to be known as “Toad Suck Square," and right out front is where they hold the now famous toad races during our annual festival called Toad Suck Daze.
His cartoons are built around this theme, with a couple of toads leaning against a pole as if speaking to each other. What they have to say usually contains a bit of truth and is often very thought provoking. I say “often” because no one hits a home run every time. This information has been necessary to help you get the picture of what happens at our Lions Club meetings each week. Some time near the beginning of the meeting our president will say, “Milton, do you have a word for us?” What he has to say has come to be known as a Milton Moment.
It does not take long, and this is why it’s called a Milton Moment. Here are some examples: “If at first you don’t succeed, don’t parachute out of an airplane.” “The best way to make laziness respectable is to call it spring fever.” “The reason lightning never strikes twice in the same place is because it doesn’t need to.” “Live every day as if it was your last, and sooner or later you’ll be right.” “Nothing makes it easier to resist temptation than proper upbringing, a sound set of values and … witnesses.” “People don’t need to be led into temptation. They can find it for themselves.” “It is easier to get older than wiser.” “If a man is talking in the woods and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?”
This one should be used just before Easter: “If you hide your own Easter eggs, wait till the last minute to do it.” And here is my favorite and the one that has motivated this column. “If ignorance is no excuse, what good is it?”
We have a barrel of fun, and this is why I said earlier that every civic club and organization needs a Milton Davis. In today’s society, with all the stress and pressures, we need a time to laugh, relax and place things in perspective.
One other highlight for our club is during Toad Suck Daze when we sell sausage-on-the-stick to raise money to help the blind and visually impaired. Each year at the beginning of the festival they have a big parade where bands play and various and sundry officials strut down the street, along with the official Toad Master. For several years, a good friend of mine served in this position and he actually looked like a toad. I won’t name him.
Milton Davis has organized a Kazoo, Drum & Bugle Corps to march in this parade. Most everyone is given a kazoo. That’s another column, but the big deal is that everyone has to be at the parade early to practice. The parade starts at 10 a.m. and practice starts at 9:55 a.m. You get the picture. Just clean fun.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: Jim Davidson is a motivational speaker and syndicated columnist. You may contact him at 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, Ark. 72034. To support literacy, buy his book, “Learning, Earning & Giving Back.”)