No. 218 - A TOUGH WAY TO SPEND THE FIRST HALF

No. 218

Jim Davidson...NEWSPAPER COLUMN

A TOUGH WAY TO SPEND THE FIRST HALF

The American author James Thurber once said, Humor is the other side of tragedy...one of our greatest and earliest national resources which must be preserved at all costs. With this in mind, please permit me to share this true story that a friend told me the other day. You may not get a charge out of it, but it was one of the funniest things Ive heard in a long time. Since this story was about his wife, youll understand why I dont plan to give you his name. If I did, he would probably be looking for a new place to stay. Im just kidding. Shes as laid back as anyone Ive ever known.

To bring you up to speed mentally so you will know where Im coming from, please permit me to give you a little background information. Back in the days before running water and indoor plumbing the general custom was to have a galvanized washtub out on the back porch for taking a bath. This made it convenient to carry water from the well to fill it. Because there was usually a good deal of water sloshing involved, the floor of the back porch was usually slanted so the water would run off.

Now fast forward about forty years and see this particular old house after it has been renovated and it now has running water, indoor plumbing and one of those big old cast iron bathtubs with bear claw feet that my wife and many others has always wanted. However, in this case they just enclosed a section of the back porch for a bathroom and you had to go outside the house and then go through a separate door to enter.

At this point, hopefully you have the picture. One Saturday afternoon in November about 2 Oclock my friends wife decided to take a bath while he was watching a football game. Soon he gets totally engrossed in the game and time passes, but in his subconscious mind, once in a while he thinks he hears something. Before long the first quarter is over and it is an exciting game. Then its half-time and he begins to feel like he needs a snack from the refrigerator, but he still cant escape the feeling that he has been hearing something.

As he gets to the kitchen the voice is a little louder and he realizes at this point that it is coming from the bathroom on the back porch. When he goes outside and opens the bathroom door, here is the scene that confronts him. The weight of that big old cast iron tub filled with water with a human being in it has fallen through the floor. Since the floor was weakest next to the wall where it had soaked for years, only the two outside feet had gone totally through which made the tub tilt up on its side.

Now, here is a scene you dont ever want to see. The plumbing has broken loose and water is squirting everywhere and my friends wife was in that tub, naked as a jay bird, and couldnt get out! When he told me this true story I quickly arrived at the conclusion that this was a tough way to spend the first half. She had been in that tub hollering for over an hour before he finally heard her and was able to get her out. And just think, all those guys playing football had no idea this was going on.

The reason I have decided to share this with you is because its real life and something that most of us can relate to. A good clean story (pun intended) like this one with no serious consequences only serves to make life interesting. To be sure I want to keep up with whats going on in the world, but I also want to have a little good natured fun. Until next time, I trust that your life is good and I sincerely hope you have a great day. (Jim Davidson is a motivational speaker and syndicated columnist. You may contact him at 2 Bentley Drive, Conway, AR 72034.)